Wednesday, June 9, 2010

On Interior Decorating

The decor for my modest studio apartment is, for the most part, complete.

The entire process, shopping for furniture, arranging items around the room, choosing colors and more, was surprisingly satisfying. Perhaps my natural predisposition for classy threads has translated into interior decorating. This is undoubtedly a life-changing event.

It's a bit hard, but not impossible, for a man to take care of his personal appearance without sacrificing his perceived manhood. Throw on a fitted collared shirt and slim khakis and you look like a real man. But as soon as I began considering the purchase of drapes, a line had been crossed.

Interior decorating has become the death sentence for the remnants of my masculinity. To be fair, the American patriarchy is known best for its disregard for personal hygiene and desire to crush empty alcoholic-beverage cans against one's forehead, so I'm not going to miss it terribly.

Pictured Above: The death of my machismo. The killing blow was in the form of the matching napkins and tablecloth.

Is this a normal transformation? Am I experiencing a coming-of-age phase of my life, transforming me from a boy to a man? Or at least from a man to a more fabulous man?

Pictured above: A fabulous kitchen.

I have yet to entertain guests, so time will tell.


  1. You're not gay till you branch out from two-tone my friend.

  2. Your kitchen is in... a closet?

    Also, I agree with Aubrey. Plus, you are supposed to iron the table cloth before you put it on the table, unless you're going for the graph-paper look :) Masculinity is intact! Huzzah!

  3. Nothing stops you from being masculine -and- fabulous. Just include a selection of forehead-crushed beer cans (10+ bucks each, of course) and porn mags imported from northern Europe around the apartment.

    Make sure the color matches, though.