Sunday, February 19, 2012

ECG Readings for Arrhythmias of a Broken Heart

Ventricular It's-Not-You-It's-Me Pre-excitation

Not all QRS complexes are preceded by P-waves, but it's not the P-wave's fault. The QRS just isn't at a point in its life to follow a P-wave so exclusively. It's sure the P-wave understands.

I'm-Into-Your-Roommate Sinus Rhythm

T-waves are symmetric and boring in leads V2-V5. The nearby V1 has an inverted T-wave, which you lied and said you didn't like at all, but you really want to see if it had U-waves, too. However, the likelihood of hypokalemia just isn't realistic between you two.

Sinus Moving-Too-Fast Tachycardia

The heart rate is above 100 BPM, and you are worried there might be some early afterdepolarizations if things keep moving like this. You were fine when things were only 60 BPM, but you aren't ready to follow an ectopic pacemaker.

Atrial I'm-Secretly-Gay Fibrillation

The overall rhythm is irregularly irregular, but it's totally ready to just be irregularly irregular friends. There's no reason that we still can't go shopping for those QT-intervals you saw last week. And you should bring your friend Brent.

Atrioventricular Node Block Type IV: I Hate That Cat Sweater

The PR-interval is prolonged, with occasional dropped beats. It is usually accompanied by I HATE THAT SWEATER! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS WEARING THAT TERRIBLE SWEATER? HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND A SWEATER WITH SO MANY CATS ON IT! WE'RE DONE!

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