Saturday, December 11, 2010

Medical School Study Tips

It's that time again. With an exam on the way, medical students everywhere are eschewing our dear friend Kris Kringle for the warm hearth of gastro-intestinal anatomy and histology. In the holiday spirit, I offer you my tried and true study tips, guaranteed to increase test scores by 20%, decrease body fat by 63%, and eliminate the symptoms of tertiary syphilis.

1. Mnemonics

Having trouble remembering the names of the arteries and nerves? Try some helpful mnemonics! For example, the arteries of the pelvis can be remembered by the saying: "The superior gluteal, inferior gluteal, pudendal, obturator, and superior vescicular arteries are stupid and hard to remember!"

2. Time management

We all have trouble balancing studying and our hobbies (such as binge drinking or cage-fighting), so here's a tip on how to save time while listening to the audio lectures. Just collect 20 sets of speakers and set them up around your apartment. Then, connect them to 20 mp3 players and have them play 20 different audio lecture notes at the same time. Stand in the center of the room and absorb the information with ease. This Cacophony of Cochard (trademarked, by the way) method is also effective at pulverizing kidney stones.

3. Study groups

Study groups present the illusion of productivity, but did you know that they offer you the opportunity to take an offensive role in your medical school education? Sabotage other study groups to lower the mean of the exam. Join many different groups and send them confusing and contradictory information. Advanced users of this technique may also vandalize wikipedia pages.

4. Location, location, location

Everyone knows that you should study where you will take the exam, but for even higher scores, you should live there. I have been living our of my histology locker for the past few weeks, and as long as you don't mind shaving with your anatomy scalpel, so can you!

5. Cheating

Did you know that you can cheat to get a higher score on the exam? It's easier than it looks! All you have to do is study your notes beforehand, and when you are taking the exam, you will remember the facts you are being tested over! They won't see what hit them!

1 comment:

  1. HAAHAHAHAA I have tears in my eyes. I'm going to send this to our entire PA class, since we have exams tomorrow. I'll cite you, don't worry.