59 Minutes at Lollapalooza

Thanks to my crazy connections, I was able to score a ticket to the last 5% of Lollapalooza. In addition to hosting the highest concentration of hipsters outside of an American Apparel, did you know that the festival also features LIVE MUSIC? In fact, I was able to see a few bands.

Pictured above: Typical blurry concert photo for the first band I saw. Pitchfork gives them a sincere 9.3. They become sellouts.

This band, I believe, was The Arcade Fire. Now, they were not as good as other recreation disaster-themed bands (such as The Playground Sinkhole or The Lan-Party Gas-Leak), but they are certainly my favorite city-planning-themed band. They played all the hits: from “Song about Neighborhoods” to “Song about Suburbs.”

Pictured above: Another blurry photo of a band. Pitchfork gives them an ironic 7.5. Nobody understands.

Soundgarden, well, “rocked” and “rolled,” but I found myself unmoved. Maybe it's my unhealthy obsession with hip-hop, but rock music has been sounding drearier and drearier to me. The whole time I was listening I was just thinking about how I wanted to buy the new Janelle Monae and Big Boi albums.

Pictured above: Oooh...lights!

Disc jockeys. They were quite good, deploying the smoke machine and laser lights at appropriate times. I used to be a DJ, but then I realized that I was terrible at it. And unlike medicine or science, I really couldn't fake it.

Pictured above: You're right, spikey Lollapalooza ball. I should just start believing in myself.

Overall, the experience was certainly worth the $0 I paid. It's true what they say, the best things in life are free. And the rest you can steal.