Test Questions

So, we just had our big exam over the Ob/Gyn and GI units, and there were some really hard questions. I thought I should share some with you.

1. Professor McGonagall is pregnant, and Harry Potter must help deliver the baby. What should he do?

A. "Expelliarmus fetus!"
B. "Abruptio Placenta!"
C. Have Hermione perform an emergency, magical C-section
D. Pull Gryffindor's speculum from the Sorting Hat

2. Which is NOT a significant risk factor for an ectopic pregnancy?

A. Talking at the movies
B. 2 (two) first-degree relatives with blonde highlights
C. Using the word "irregardless"
D. Putting your fingers up to your mouth when it is cold outside and pretending to smoke

4. Which is NOT a side-effect of oral-contraceptive use?

A. X-ray vision
B. Animal telepathy
C. Heart-doubling
D. Superuterus

5. A 23-year-old male presents with frequent, non-bloody diarrhea after a recent trip to Latin America. Which of these questions would be most important to ask?

A. "How was your trip?"
B. "What did you bring me?"
C. "Hey, I don't know what your wife is talking about. I was just fixing your shower."
D. "Maybe if you just TALKED to Jan, she would rethink the divorce."
E. "No, YOU need to calm down!"

6. Which P450 enzyme is the best?

A. CYP3A4
B. CYP2D6
C. CYP2C19
D. CYP2E1
E. Oh, I can't decide. I love them all!

3. Your patient is an elderly man complaining of severe RUQ pain. Several lacerations are apparent on the skin overlying his abdomen, and both wrists and ankles are in shackles. His HST and HLT levels are elevated, as well as his unconjugated bilirubin. His power of attorney is a large eagle that is menacingly pacing around the room. What would be the most appropriate next step?

A. Liver biopsy
B. Endoscopy
C. Ultrasound
D. Your patient is Prometheus and is being deservedly punished for his transgressions against Zeus. Return him to the mountain.

Questions for the Chicago Pedal Pub

After seeing this, I...just had so many questions. I thought I would share them with you.

Pictured above: Spotted in Wicker Park, The Chicago Pedal Pub is a roving drinking station powered by the pedaling of its patrons.

Question #1: Why the name "Pedal Pub"? There are a huge number of other drinking-related alliterations choose from! For example: Booze Bicycle.

Question #2: Why is your motto "It's SLOW fun"? Were people complaining that they were getting bored with their fun because it was moving TOO FAST?

Question #3: How did this idea come to be? Was someone drinking with their friends in a bar and exclaim, "I can't take it any more! I need to be able to get drunk AND blast my quads at the same time!"

Question #4: Have you considered expanding your franchise? As a non-drinker, I would be particularly interested in a roving tea shop powered by push-ups or a mobile old-timey soda shop powered by deep-knee bends.

Question #5: How does the driver get licensed to operate a vehicle powered solely by inebriated individuals? The only applicable prior work experience seems to be operating the lower-deck oars in a Viking slave ship.