Sunday, December 4, 2011

A Tour of the Family Manor

My friends are always asking me, "Sai, tell me more about your humble upbringing." After I punch them in the throat and tell them they can't tell me what to do, I lean back in my rocking chair, take off my straw hat, and chew on a piece of hay, and I tell them of my mansion in Topeka, KS.

It is a simple home, with ABSOLUTELY NO HISTORY OF GRUESOME MURDERS/HAUNTINGS. You can't prove any of those skeletons were human. Anyway, the house is full of many lovely amenities, including locks conveniently placed on the outside of the doors of each of the bedrooms, allowing the extra rooms to be rented out as a combination Bed and Breakfast/Minor Security Prison.

Pictured above: The dining room is joined with the kitchen, which allows the residents of the manor to watch over their food preparation by the servants. This is particularly helpful if your waitstaff is not to be trusted and you fear a violent, class-based insurrection.

The backyard is spacious with handy rain-warning system for the weather-conscious owner. If it begins to rain heavily, the pipes burst instantly, flooding the basement, warning the occupant to bring an umbrella before going outside.

Pictured above: The living room is nicknamed "The Den" because of its cozy couches. And the den of foxes that feed off table scraps and visiting children.

So, if you are ever in the neighborhood or are a white-collar criminal, come on down!

Pictured above: elegance!


  1. I really like the wide angle photographs, and also, "max fun".

    - M

  2. I am glad you didn't disclose our time travel portal in the basement or a secret room under the stairs where Kreacher hides from the Mudblood occupants of the house.

  3. ...does your laptop say "Max Pun"?
    Also, when do you return to Chicago?