Restaurant Review: Uncommon Ground

In addition to my chosen career of traumatizing patients and engineering super-viruses, I like to dabble in potential back-up vocations. So far, these have included dog psychologist, personal hype-man, and, now, food critic. Here is my review of the Roger's Park restaurant Uncommon Ground.

From the moment you are banging on the door marked "Not an entrance, please use other door" to try to enter, you can't help but be drawn into the rustic atmosphere of hardwood floors, hardwood walls, and hardwood curtains. The paintings on the walls are widely varied, from elegant scenes of ducks swimming to beautiful portraits of ducks standing. It transports you to a simpler time, when all we had were a sturdy pick-axe and the iPhone 3.

But oh, the food.

Pictured above: Distressed potato sticks, pan-baked in an air reduction, covered this delectable dish of pensive mussels, hand-broiled in a mysterious sauce of uneasy tomatoes and indifferent peppers.

Pictured above: A bacon-sealed meat-muesli of organic, local, grass-fed, sentient beef, served with ground tubers, freshly drowned and covered in an urban gravy, and imported Belgian sprouts tortured in a milk-fat expansion.

Ah, what a feast. And plus, since the waitstaff recognized me as a local food critic, they brought me a second meated-loaf, courtesy of the chef.

Pictured above: "Excuse me, the bacon-seal is broken on this one."

Overall, a wonderful experience. I give Uncommon Ground 1000 stars. Out of 10,000 stars.