An Entire Sleeve of Cinnamon Rolls

My first week of medical school is now under my belt, and my soul still has yet to be crushed. I was looking forward to becoming a soulless husk of a man, but so far my schooling has been entirely too uplifting and supportive. I did, however, appreciate watching a full episode of House during class. But I must admit that I am more of a Wilson man, myself.

Pictured above: Oh, Hugh. I can't stay mad at you.

Currently, I am relaxing at my apartment, enjoying some of my patented raspberry-flavored coffee. It is the metaphorical equivalent of making my coffee wear an ascot.

Pictured above: If I ever become a rapper, I want to put the line "Sippin' coffee from a dollar-store mug" into one of my songs.

Although I spent my morning buying butternut squash, an eggplant, two yellow zucchinis, and five banana peppers (for $3.75 total), I indulged in one of my more embarrassing habits: I ate an entire sleeve of Jewel-brand cinnamon rolls.

Pictured above: Multiply this by two, and now you understand my shame.

Last night, I was able to mingle with the other members of Castillo College, the Hufflepuff of Feinberg. The group of us were entertained by our physician mentor Dr. Castillo at his home, where we proceeded to shamelessly consume food and drink. I deceived up to ten of my fellow students into being my "friends." As I was draining their bank accounts this morning, I wondered if we had different definitions of "friend."

Pictured above: Dr. Castillo also gave us some sweet luggage tags. Next up, secret Castillo College handshake.

That's enough for now. I'm off to go thrift store shopping for some bow ties. A true gentleman should never be without two things: a bow tie and an assortment of fine jams.

Pictured above: What? You don't have an assortment of fine jams?