Uncle Benichiro

The winter snow has finally hit Chicago, which can only mean one thing:

Pictured above: That's right Sad Road Marker, it means it's time to go to the oriental food store to stock up on strange ingredients!

First up, I needed to get some Japanese rice. Now, what is "Japanese rice", you ask? Well, racist, Japanese rice is much like most things Japanese: smaller, more expensive, and harboring a secret desire to build a world empire.

Pictured above: Wait, I had something for this. Uncle Benichiro!

And, what goes better with rice than twenty miniature, yogurt-flavored soft-drinks?

Pictured above: I am appalled by the lack of an adorable cartoon character on the package urging me to consume its contents. What's the point of drinking weird, Asian things if they aren't cross-promoting some epileptic morning cartoon or line of Hello-Kitty glitter-purses?

Finally, while in the checkout line, I became overcome with emotion and forced to grab a stack of teas.

Pictured above: For those who don't know, Roasted Green Tea is made from green tea leaves roasted over charcoal, and Oolong Tea is made from the shame you've brought upon your ancestors roasted over firewood.