Spin the bottle, then intubate

Many of you are already aware of my aversion to any social encounters with my academic fellows. Meeting medical students outside of medical school is a transition my brain cannot handle. I cannot help but maintain my urge to out-compete my comrades even in a party setting. I still want to be in the top 98th percentile in cookies brought to the potluck and be at least two standard deviations above the average friendly conversation.

But regardless, I attended a party thrown by the MSTP's last night. I had only two rules:

1. I would wear a bow tie.
2. I would not participate in any drinking/sporting event combinations (i.e. beer pong, wine tennis, scotch jai alai, etc.).

Pictured above: Rule one is satisfied. I don't know if you can tell, but this is my party tie.

The hosts also requested that the attendees bring some foodstuffs to increase the spirit of togetherness. I was going to make a cake with the phrase "I will tolerate you all" spelled out in frosting, but I ran out of sugar.

Pictured above: White cheddar and brie biscuits. The key to good biscuits is to acidify the batter and serve them while exclaiming "Y'all want some biscuits!?"

The event itself was quite entertaining. We played all sorts of fun party games. For example, we had a lot of great rounds of medical spin-the-bottle, where instead of kissing the one that the bottle lands on, you have to intubate their trachea. Throw in some alcohol, and you've got yourself an old-fashioned medical school hootenanny.

Pictured above: A "hootenanny" in progress. Things didn't get going until people started whipping out the blood pressure cuffs.

I also had the chance to employ the tried and true Jesse Thorn method of making new friends. I would introduce myself to them and then make some sort of joke about their profession/hometown/appearance. If they laughed at my joke, then they would be my friend. If they didn't, I would hate them forever. I kept track on my party clipboard, which I later transfered to my party Excel spreadsheet.

Pictured above: Love and hate, respectively.