Medical School: Prom

Like I have mentioned many times before, medical school is much like high school. There are the popular kids and nerds. There is gossip and drama. There are dissections of human cadavers in the basement. You know, high school stuff.

And like high school, last night we had our annual prom. It was a chance for all of us medical students to pretend that we were grown-ups enjoying a classy night out on the town. And like true adults, my classmates had two goals for the night: dressing formally and public drunkenness.

Pictured above: As a teetotaler, I could only enjoy the former. Though, to be fair, this was probably for the best. Had I been inebriated, I may have challenged a peer to fisticuffs after I noticed that he was wearing a better tuxedo than me.

Yes, it was the first time I have ever worn a tuxedo. Being dressed-up gave me the chance to re-enact my favorite moments from Mad Men, such as staring intensely into my glass, making sexist remarks with my friends, and not talking about my feelings.

We also enjoyed a three-course meal of salad, salmon, and chocolate cake. Emily Post's rules of men's etiquette flashed before my eyes, and I quickly forgot which was my salad fork and which was my entrée fork. It is times like these that make me glad that I always carry an emergency salad fork in my pocket.

But it wouldn't be be a true prom without some amount of public humiliation. I did, in fact, bust several moves on the dance floor. I disco-ed around to my request of "Stayin' Alive" (The Bee Gee's famous song about how The New York Times is trying to kill you), and I even entered a dance contest to "Billie Jean", which is the number one song for a gangly white guy to dance to.

Pictured above: The aftermath of dancing. Note the unfurled French cuffs and loosened bow tie. Although informal, it did allow me to pretend that I was George Clooney.

Ah, it was a good night. But alas, I must return to studying for medical school. Specifically, the limb muscles needed to successfully execute a moonwalk.