A Satirical Canadian Invitation

By now, I realize that I have become an internet super-sensation. I have had one humor piece published in an obscure internet literary publication and my blog has literally dozens of readers. Naturally, this means I get approached by many powerful organizations. Literature publishers promise me the full "Hodgman-treatment," and certain public radio groups guarantee a "Sedaris-explosion."

Normally I turn these down, (I'm too busy saving lives in medical school), but I received an invitation recently that piqued my interest.

Pictured above: A satirical Canadian invitation.

Although I am well known for my "Canadian" style of humor (I cannot go a week without mentioning hilarious poutine anecdotes or Prime Minister Harper's political antics), I had to turn this opportunity down. According to the blood-pact I made last summer with the Northwestern MSTP, I am not allowed to receive any sort of outside payment while in the MD/PHD program (including, I assume, whatever a "cheque" is. I believe it is some kind of communist money used in Canada).

But you, my internet followers, get the special treat of some of my classic, satirical Canadian News headlines. Enjoy.

Socialized rationing of the phrase 'eh?' sparks polite protest

Canadian Reserve to return to the "beaver-pelt" standard

Thousands of blackbirds do not fall from the sky over Montreal

Canadian man abroad accused of pretending to be Canadian

Thousands in Vancouver emerge from hibernation prematurely, forced to eat visiting film crews until the spring thaw