Welcome to Northwestern! Put on Your 3-D Glasses Now!

This last Wednesday, I had the privilege of mingling with some interviewees for the MD/PHD Program, which quickly made me nostalgic. It seems like it was only a year ago I was applying to MD/PHD programs...

At first, they appeared a nervous bunch; they were all dressed in that prised oasis of American style: business casual. The ambiguity of dress code ranged from cardigans to full suits, a result that I greatly enjoyed watching unfold. It is much easier to make harsh judgments of people based on appearance if we force them to make such sartorial decisions. I remember I wore a gray, hounds-tooth blazer with a white pocket square over a white oxford shirt to my interview here. It was definitely the strongest part of my application.

Pictured above: Ah, those were the days. Now I am forced to deal with the dilemma of matching my stethoscope with my outfit. As expensive as stethoscopes are, I still imagine how awesome it would be to have multiple stethoscopes in different colors so I could match them with my ties.

The M1 class of the MSTP took it upon itself to take these applicants out on the town, specifically, to bar called Rock Bottom. I had fun, even though bars really aren't my scene. I tried to let the program bring the interviewees to my weekly cockfighting ring, but the program directors informed me that the NIH cannot fund non-mammalian violence without prior authorization. This such a tragedy, since you can't get a real feel for a medical school without seeing the strength of their underground gambling programs. US News and World Report now uses it as a metric for ranking schools.

Pictured above: Rock Bottom Bar and Lounge. Stabbing-free since 2002!

I talked a big game for Northwestern, partly out of obligation for the portion of my MSTP salary itemized as "deception". As one the MD/PHD program's star students ("star" because I am burning a sizable hole into the program and my core is made up mostly of fused protons), I felt qualified to describe my school with a hyperbolic pride.

Pictured above: This is Prentice Women's Hospital. About 100 million babies are delivered here EVERY HOUR. That's enough babies to destroy Harvard Medical School.

I also may have exaggerated a few things about the city.

Pictured above: This is the Hancock building. It was named after John Hancock who, after achieving fame as having the largest signature on the Declaration of Independence, built this tower to house his giant pen. This also is why the Boston Massacre is re-enacted every morning when it opens for business.

Okay, enough lies for now. Back to studying.