The Hospital Bill

So, I finally received the bill for my short stint in the emergency room last month. Although the total bill was $1,635.57, I only had to pay $469.73. For those unfamiliar with the healthcare-industrial complex, here is the full, itemized breakdown of that payment:

100.00 - Co-pay
20.00 - Co-pay co-pay
30.00 - Sassy nurse subcharge
20.00 - Handsome doctor fee
120.00 - Haircut for handsome doctor
40.00 - Resident listening to sob story
45.00 - Resident replacing "in usual state of health" with "idiot" on chart
45.00 - Attending yelling at an intern for some reason
17.00 - Intern crying in supply closet
32.00 - New supply closet lock
00.30 - Stitches
00.15 - Guaze
00.15 - Neosporin
00.13 - Pennies discovered stolen from "take-a-penny-leave-a-penny-tray" at Starbucks

TOTAL= $469.73

And that's why healthcare reform is ruining America.

Honey-betes and a Million Dollars

This weekend, I went to the Meli Cafe, a honey-themed brunch restaurant. "Meli" is, of course, the Greek word for honey. It can be found in such words as diabetes mellitus, mellitology (study of bees), and Weezy. However, for some reason, my preceptor still tells me that I shouldn't tell the patients that they "have honey-betes."

Pictured above: Along with a mountain of pancakes, they serve a small vial filled with honey and a butter infused with honey. Also, every hour a bell rings, and the wait-staff all take a shot of honey so they, too, are infused with honey.

But my favorite part of the restraurant was its sign-board outside.

Pictured above: I guess last week's Belligerent Borscht wasn't a big seller.

Also, it's a good friend's birthday today, so I gave him the world's greatest gift. Money.

Pictured above: "What did you get him? Oh, that's nice. Know what I got him? A MILLION DOLLARS."