Dragons vs. Unicorns vs. Creeps

Ah, it's good to be back on the internet. I had a tough couple of days this past week. I was over-zealous at the H&M clearance rack and bought two pairs of brown slacks that look suspiciously similar. I also failed in finding some opera pumps for the formal next weekend, so I may be forced to endure the shame of wearing my black oxfords instead. It's a tough life.

Note: Apparently, there was also some sort of exam on Friday, which would explain why my entire class got together in a big room and didn't talk to each other for four hours. Maybe I shouldn't have just drawn pictures of dragons fighting unicorns on those papers we were given. Unless our exam was on fantasy warfare. No wait, I think that is our next unit.

But rather than dwell too much on my own inadequacies, I thought I would find something positive to discuss. As this is also a "sartorial" blog (in addition to the nonsense I post), I thought I should do some analysis on some popular fashion. For example, there is this new persona sweeping the nation called "The Creep."

I was initially delighted to discover how much of myself I saw in these "creeps." Like me, they have an unstoppable swagger and are definitely a hit with the ladies. Watch out kids, because there is new dance craze sweeping the nation!

Pictured above: Seriously, watch your kids.

First, I should list the similarities between me and these "creeps."

Pictured above: Screen-capture of some "creeps." Probably thought it was a photograph of me, didn't you?

1. Hair parted to the side

2. Distinctive glasses

3. White collared shirt

4. Bold, solid-colored tie

5. Sensible, well-fitting gray suit

6. Brightly-colored argyle socks

7. Brown dress shoes

Sound familiar? Apparently, I have been creeping for quite some time now, and I demand credit for it. Their "characters" were clearly based off of me, and I am entitled to royalties. Girls have been calling me a "creep" in bars for a lot longer than this video has been circulating.